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Qi

Bittersweet

Defining the profoundness of loneliness, he struggles for words.

Amidst pseudo-smiles and leaden feelings, he seeks trueness.
In deafening silence, he trails echoes that are not forthcoming.
And the world stops.
The world watches.
It grimaces disapproval,
But it speaks no words.
He knows, the mute majority of nothingness has spoken…
…with a resounding roar.
The delirium of joy of long ago has evanesced into oblivion,
But the grasp of guilt keeps him pursuing forlorn feelings.

Qi

Turning The Page

Haven't blogged for way too long.
Busy like a nut. Here are the things going on in my life in Sydney:

College of Law
The main purpose of my coming here, and it is nearing the end. 2 more weeks of College to go - I have done 13 weeks and it feels like I'd only started College yesterday. Because it's a relatively small class, with about 24 of us, we are a close-knit bunch. This makes the struggle easier and less painful, I guess. Within the next 2 weeks I have:

1) Civil Litigation Hearing (where we appear before a judge);
2) Criminal Law Hearing (where we appear before a judge);
3) Criminal Law File Note (an assignment);
4) Will and Estates (60% Assignment);
5) Will and Estates (40% Assignment);
6) Legal Ethics 2,500-word research essay; and
7) 3 Legal Ethics 1,500-word modules.

Leaving home at 8:00am and back home at 9:00pm, it's pretty full-on I'd say.

Jobs
I am going to get a job in Sydney. I am going to be applying for permanent residency, and as such I will have to be in Australia for the next 3 years. I have two job interviews tomorrow, one in the City at 11:30am and another one at Castle Hill at 2:30pm. Bus ride from City to Castle Hill is an hour. At the same time I am also applying to other law firms, in hope of getting into the best-paying one. Having said that, I am not compromising my desire of working in a personal injury law firm. Quite a plethora of criteria for me to juggle with...

Permanent residency
This is causing much distress. Apart from the fact that it is going to cause me close to AU$4,000 applying, I will also have to make sure I comply with all the requirements (reading them and interpreting them is a mind-boggling process). I have to get police clearance, medical report and character witnesses.

Grandmother
My beloved paternal grandma, affectionately known as Ah Po, passed away peacefully approximately 2+ weeks ago. Amidst the hustle and bustle of my busy Sydney life, I was swept away by inconsolable waves of melancholy and homesickness. I wanted so much to go back, but I was held back by 2 things. Firstly, I could not just leave College since there were compulsory classes to attend; and secondly, I simply did not (and still don't) have the money to fly back. I surfed the web and tried all sorts of flight combination but the final price still proved unpalatable come the end of the day. I will break out of my poverty-stricken state in a few years time. I hate being poor.

Girlfriend
I am sorry for abandoning you and not talking to you enough. I am sorry for not replying to smses and I am sorry for not returning your emails. A lot of things have happened, and they will continue to happen over the course of the next 2 months. Nobody knows what is going to happen in the future, no one could tell. I believe as long as their is belief, there is hope. And as long as their is hope, there is a chance. Hang on, baby.

Exploration
Despite being swarmed and challenged by the onslaught of ridiculous amount of work, worries and money issues, I have been taking some time just for myself, doing what I love most - travelling. With a Weekly Pass which costs AU$35.00 per week, I have been visiting quite a few places in Sydney after College or library sessions. The most memorable ones include my visit to the suburb of Leichardt, aka Little Italy, Bondi and Strathfield, aka Little Korea. The number of Italians and Italian restaurants and shops at Leichardt was insane. Same with the Koreanness of Strathfield. It's like visiting a different country.

I miss my family, I miss all my close friends in Malaysia.
At the same time I am excited by the prospect of a brand new life...
... as an Australian lawyer.

Qi

冲动

冲动是强烈的情感.
冲动是薄弱的理性控制.
想念她,想把电脑屏幕上的她紧握...
... 是一种冲动.
想下一秒把时间停止,接着将它倒流...
... 是一种冲动.
这并非洪水般的激情.
这是令人陶醉之中的缱绻柔情.
我又冲动了.

奇

考验

距离的残酷，时差的折磨，相思的苦涩...
... 盼望的，是紧紧握着妳的那一天。
往日的平淡，转变成有了彼此后的绚烂...
... 明天的不可能，既是妳我一定战胜的考验。

奇

Exam Tomorrow

Telling, then doing.
Doing, then telling.

These are two very different things.
I tell, then I do.
If I have done, I won't tell.
Because doing, then telling, is like not telling at all.
Doing, then telling, is like saying "I don't care what you think."
Telling, then doing, is respect.
Telling, then doing, is honesty.

That's what I feel anyway.

I am only human.

Smell the Beans

It's funny how people get to a certain age, and all of a sudden everyone starts to engage in the same activities! Shyang mentioned about coffee - Dodo seems to be into coffee as well - and so it's time to disclose my addiction as well.

(Above) The best coffee around St Leonards.

This is the best coffee around St Leonards, where my college is. Cafes are everywhere in Australia. Takeaway coffees are just way too common. On a busy morning with people rushing off to work, a lot would be seen carrying these little cups with them, sipping as they go. I am one of 'em.

(Above) One on the way to the library today

Unlike in Kuching where people drink Kopi-Os and Kopi-Cs, here it's a little bit more complex. Cappuccino, Latte and Flat White are my usual ones, but there are other common ones as well. Ever wondered what their differences are? Found the following:

Espresso: 30 ml of black coffee produced from 7g of ground beans.
Long Black: 60ml of espresso with 120ml of hot water added after brewing.
Latte: 60 ml of espresso, steamed milk, little froth
Cappuccino: 60 ml of espresso, 1/3 cup steamed milk, 1/3 cup froth
Macchiato: 60 ml of espresso, 5 ml milk on top, dollop of froth.
Mochaccino: 60 ml of espresso, 1 teaspoon drinking chocolate, steamed milk
Flat White: 60 ml of espresso, in regular cup, steamed milk

My usual order would go something like this: "Can I have a Flat White takeaway, no sugar, with soymilk!". I think sugar damages the coffee taste, and I take soymilk because I would usually have milk for breakfast already... so more milk would trigger my lactose intolerance.

Sad part is, every coffee sets me back from AU$2.80 to AU$3.50.

Addictively yours,
Qi